[Week 1 Afterparty] Now kid, I know I haven't been a perfect man

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

That all sure fucking happened, didn't it?

Again, Leon walks out of the crypt with blood on him that is not his, and it's absolutely no comfort that he didn't even get the worst of it this time. He spends longer than he means to washing it off in the bathroom sink, going over and over and over things in his mind, before gravitating towards the kitchen to see if Luis is looking to play host to another wake. When he doesn't find him, Leon decides he might as well try to put something together himself.

Thankfully for him and also everyone in attendance, he gets plenty of help. Otto, Garry, Yuri, Lortel, and Shauna all lend a hand in the kitchen, which leaves dragging the furniture from the library back into the sitting room to him. Before long they've got a spread of snacks and drinks - better than he would've probably done on his own, having planned to make something that could be eaten quickly to efficiently replenish energy after a whole day spent arguing as opposed to like. Something tasty.

Once it's all set up, he'll go scouting around the now considerably more sensibly laid out house, knocking on doors and telling people that dinner's ready in the sitting room. Once he's at least told everyone he could find, he'll be standing guard/being a wallflower in there. Second verse, same as the first.

Comments

[selfreliar]

...Kennedy.

[Hey, roomie, hey. Rather than say, "You look tired," Aqua goes with the more neutral:]

It's getting late.

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

Huh?

[ It takes a second for Leon to fully snap out of whatever fugue he'd been in, blinking blearily up at Aqua from where he's sitting. Once it registers what's been said to him, though, he glances at the clock. ]

Guess it is. We should probably be getting back.

[ Thankfully he'd been occupying himself by cleaning up as the night went on, bustling around and taking plates back to the kitchen to wash, so there's not too much to put away. The rest can wait until tomorrow, at least. With no small amount of weariness, he stands, stretching. ]

[selfreliar]

Mm.

[He does his quiet Aqua thing of observing without saying much for a moment, and maybe that would be that. But:]

...You all right?

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

[ Leon thinks about the question and considers dodging it, before remembering that he promised Aqua at least that he'd be honest if he was having a rough time. Ugh. If only he was the kind of rude adult to try to pull the 'do as I say not as I do' card. ]

... No. All of that - it feels like it should've been avoidable. [ He knows he told Ranma that it wasn't his fault, and he genuinely believes that, but... ] If we'd caught how messed up Jade was by the situation sooner, or kept him away from Viktor... It shouldn't have happened that way.

[selfreliar]

...When...

[Aqua starts to speak, but stops. After a beat, he sighs quietly.]

It's not a feeling that goes away, whatever people try to say. Is it.

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

What, that you should've been able to stop things from getting this bad? If it ever does, I haven't hit it yet.

[ He starts walking, nodding for Aqua to follow. ]

Not sure I ever want to. Worry it would feel like I'd stopped caring. Or trying.

[selfreliar]

[Aqua nods and follows along.]

I was going to say something about how the people around me tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, when my mother was killed.

[He's looking off into the distance of the past as he says that, not at Leon.]

But it seemed like something you might already know. How little those words matter, I mean. Even if they're true.

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

Mm. [ Leon considers that, for a moment ] I think it does matter. I think it'd be worse if there weren't people to tell you that. But it's... still hard, no matter what. All the reassurance in the world can't save you at a time like this, not alone.

[selfreliar]

...Then I'll say it. What happened last night and today wasn't your fault, Kennedy, or any of ours. Even if it was avoidable, that doesn't mean we had the knowledge, ability, and... luck, in the moment, to anticipate every factor and avoid it.

Those words won't save us. But if it helps... I do believe them.

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

[ Leon just listens quietly for a moment, staring off at the corner of the room looking distant, before nodding. ]

You're right, they won't. But it's... important. Knowing that sometimes it does come down to sheer dumb luck. Doesn't mean you have to throw up your hands and stop trying to change things, but getting lost in every little possibility after it's already happened is. Not good for you. Gotta do your best not to do that.

[ Do as I say, not as I do. ]

All we can do is our best. To keep moving. To learn from our mistakes.

[selfreliar]

[Keep moving.

What does that even mean now, for Aqua?]

...Yeah. That's all anyone can do.

[They can be two hypocritical peas in a pod about this, together.]

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

It's all anyone's ever been able to do.

[ He sighs. After a walk that took the entire length of that conversation to get from the sitting room to the second floor, they've finally reached the room again. Leon opens the door. ]

Oh good, we made it in time. [ He doesn't sound like he has the energy to be genuinely enthused, but it's true and it does mean they don't have to sleep downstairs tonight. ] You want first dibs on the bathroom? I'm not tired yet. Might stay up and write down some notes or something.

[selfreliar]

...Sure. I am tired.

[Like an old man. And if it makes Leon feel better to put him first like this, then all right. Aqua can do this much for him.]

Don't stay up too late, okay? We all need to be rested and healthy if we're going to get through this.

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

[ Leon just huffs a little at the admonishment, amused but too exhausted and committed to his stoic image to laugh properly. ]

Doctor's orders?

[selfreliar]

If that's what works.

[He'll use what he's got.]

[nothingbadeverhappensto]

All right. I’ll do my best.

[ His best as a chronic insomniac, but his best nonetheless. With that, he’ll settle down on the bed and flip open his journal. ]